Saturday. 10.20am. This time yesterday my heart was pounding. My body move more freely, and I was pumped!

The day before, could only have happened to me. I know people from all walks of life and mixed it with CEOs, ambassadors, politicians, bureaucrats and amongst my friends, media personalities, drug addicts, educators, professionals, sex-workers, retailers, migrants, and refugees. First Nations peoples. I’ve lived a life. I also live in Tasmania. It’s a small state. We’re all related some way!

But I digress.

I have quite a unique perspective of the world. Too much to go into details here – but trust me, you are about to go on a rollercoaster ride if you subscribe to this blog. Now’s the time to get off if you’re not up for an adventure!

I’m 57. A radical feminist at heart, who bought into the blue pill of the Patriarchy.

In other words, I was groomed to take on a certain persona; just as all women in all patriarchal societies are groomed to do. Social psychologists call it conditioning and socialisation, taking on the culture of the society. And what is the society? Patriarchal.

It’s men that teach us how to behave as women. They control everything. Didn’t Donald Trump heckle Greta Thunberg and attempt to belittle her. A young ambassador to the science of climate change, ridiculed by the Patriarchy. Need I say more??

In the majority of cultural groups across the globe that what blokes say is law, is well, LAW. As women, we didn’t have a seat at the table when those laws were made. And centuries later there are still too few women around those decision-making tables.

Even female writers had to take on a pseudonym just to get their voice into the world.

FUCK THAT!

I’ve created my own website.

Now there’s a story…I met with my web designer last week. After weeks of ghosting me (joking!), she broke up with me! At least she had the decency to do it in person. But it’s the way of the world. We’re all offloading that heavy load we’ve been carrying around for decades. She’s sold her house, gave away her stuff and now she’s moving interstate to find herself.

But I digress.  

I love to sing. I love to dance. I love to collaborate. I love to connect. I love to play. I love to have fun. I love bringing joy with me every day. But sometimes I get scared. It happened last Friday afternoon.

As I got out of my car, I smoothed down my skirt, checked my lipstick and that my Akubra was firmly on.

I was early. Too early. Too eager. But Fuck! I was so excited! This was my debut event. All of a sudden, I realised that this moment was one of the pinnacles of #MY365DayChallenge##. I tried to take it in. Then, out it popped from my brain.

“Fuck it! You do you. And own it!”

I puffed out my chest. Stretched my spine and owned it with every stride.

Until I got there.

That was the “Oh FUCK! This is it!’ moment. For a split second a thought glitch sparked. I didn’t walk away.

“Shit. They’ve opened the door!”

The lump moved from my diaphragm and got stuck in the back of my throat. The poor guy who got stuck talking to me clearly felt sorry for me, but rushed away when he thought someone called his name.

No sooner had Mr Nice Guy bolted, that, well let’s call him “Ken” as he certainly had the Barbie theme happening all weekend from t-shirts, jackets, and the colours of the rainbow, spun around and introduced himself.

Hi. I’m Ken. When did you get in?

And the conversation just unfolded, like a flower blooming.

It was now official I came out to the LGBTIQA+ community in my hometown. But not really. “Ken” was down for the weekend from interstate.

It was somehow easier to tell a total stranger the significance of that moment. He listened. We hugged. He told me his story. I listened. We hugged.

I had to go. We exchanged numbers but weren’t quite sure if we’d see each other again. But that moment. Well…that moment.

That exchange was a moment of pure love. Acceptance. Connection. A total stranger assured me that I had found my tribe. My community.

Some people may be offended by my use of the term tribe. A tribe is a group of people connected through love, community, diversity, inclusion, and equity. No matter where in the world you are, your tribe are the people who are there for you, welcome you and take care of you.

In that moment, for the first time in my life, I felt me. I owned it. I’m queer.

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